Why the Road to Belonging Can Be Long and Lonely

Home...the place that holds, protects, and respects our heart

In full disclosure, I’m writing this from a local watering hole, where I’m sitting solo and sipping a sangria.
Lonely #1

For my regular and long-time readers, you may recall that my one word for 2025 is “belonging.” It sounds strange, sad, and somewhat stupid to me that at age 52, I am still searching for the place where I belong. But alas, here I am.
Lonely #2

This week, I realized in an abrupt and assaulting fashion—sometimes the ones who you thought would always stand by you, the ones who professed to love you, the ones who share your very blood—that family will cut you out of their lives over little more than high-end craft markers (yes, you read that right, and I kid you not).
Lonely #3

Honestly, 2/3 of my immediate family had been treating me as “less than” for three decades, but the final holdout had seemingly been indoctrinated over a one-sided tale of said markers. But it’s the holdout that hurts the most…it’s the holdout who keeps showing up in my dreams this week…it’s the holdout who held the final straw and broke my back. No more attempts at one-sided reconciliation and no more putting my heart on the line. I’ve resigned myself to knowing I’ve done all I can, and that is enough. I am enough…maybe not for them, but for me.
Lonely #4

It’s been said by people wiser than me that “rejection is God’s protection,” and I am trusting that that is true. So after 25+ years of familial rejection, I am entering my protection phase. Better late than never.

But here’s some good news! There are a few places that I do belong!!!

• On the pickleball court

• In the company of a handful of friends who know all of my ugly and still want me near

• In my women’s small group

• In the lap of Jesus where I curl up on my darkest nights and lean in to listen to the heart that beats for me—the one whom He loves

So, dear neighbors, if you might also be looking for belonging, know that it can be a long, lonely road at first. And you may lose some people along the way. But maybe they aren’t meant to be part of your tribe in this season of your life—even if you carry the same blood.

Belonging, for me, is about feeling at home. And home is my heart…home is my haven…home is love. And I feel at home when people hold, protect, and respect my heart. And so, I now am empowered to silently step away from anyone who cannot do those three things…and to joyfully step toward those who enthusiastically choose to do those three things.

Today, I am one step closer to true belonging…one step closer to home.

Until next time,

—Angie